A Study: Our Problem with the Father

by Joel Mott
March 7th, 2024

Fatherlessness

The issue of fatherlessness is one of the greatest epidemics in our generation. A study by the U.S. Census Bureau informs us that since 1968, the number of children growing up with only a mother has doubled. As of the year 2020, 30% of American children are growing up in a single parent home and 80% of those being raised by single-mothers. That means that in America, 19.5 million children, more than 1 in 4, live without a father in the home.

A study by My Safe Harbor informs us that 70% of gang members, high school dropouts, teen suicides, teen pregnancies and teen substance abusers come from single mother homes.

Further, a study by America First Policy Institute tells us that in a study of 56 school shootings, 82% grew up in either an unstable family environment or grew up without both biological parents together. Overall, data suggests that children from single-parent families are twice as likely to suffer from mental health and behavioral problems as those living with married parents.

God’s Design

While we find comfort, encouragement and peace in a relationship with our mother, we find IDENTITY in our father whether positive or negative. This is the reason why when a stranger tells you “I am proud of you” it is nice and we oblige but when a father looks you in the eyes and says, “I am proud of you”, it establishes identity. It is also why when a father withholds love or extends hostility, it is deeply wounding.

I believe this is the reason why before Jesus did any ministry, He was baptized and the Father’s resounding voice from heaven is heard speaking identity over Him, “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.” (matt. 3:17)

If Jesus operated out of complete Sonship, we should also.

Our Problem with the Father

Naturally, we associate the shortcomings of our earthly father with God, the Father. We relate to Jesus as a brother, and the Holy Spirit as a helper but if we are honest, we sometimes find ourselves scared of the Father. Instead of knowing Him for who He is we see Him as a far-off, authoritative, impersonal cosmic being who is measuring our progress of moral perfection. In one sense, we are not entirely off track with believing we are separated from Him because of our imperfections. To know the Father, you must be holy. But if we leave it there, we blatantly shame the act of Jesus dying on the Cross; an act that epically removed the barrier between us and the Father and made it possible for us to be cleansed of our separating sin and become holy and blameless in His sight.

The Big Picture “Why”

The purpose of Jesus’ appearance can ultimately be boiled down to this: to re-establish humanity’s complete connection to the Father.

John 17 can be seen as a “go-away speech” in a sense, for Jesus. It is His final conversation with the Father before he goes to the Cross and we get to see how He revisits the big-picture purpose of His life. John 17:26 says “I have revealed to them who you are and I will continue to make you even more real to them.”

During Jesus’ time on the earth, the New Testament documents Him referring to God as “Father” 165 times. Comparatively, in the Old Testament, God is referred to as “Father” just 15 times.

Who is the Father?

A.W. Tozer said "What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us."

In John 14, Jesus’ disciples inquire about the Father and Jesus tells us, “If you had known Me, you would have known My Father also; and from now on you know Him and have seen Him.” (john 14:7) In verse nine He repeats, “He who has seen Me has seen the Father.” (john 14:9)

If Jesus is the perfect image of the Father, we don’t have an excuse to not know what the Father is like. Author and theologian Nathan Finochio says, “we can’t know God exhaustively but we can know Him accurately because of His self revelation in scripture.”

The truth is, the Father isn’t a condemner but a lover. Perhaps the most quoted scripture worldwide spells this out clearly for us. John 3:16 says, “For God so LOVED”. It doesn’t say, “because He so hated the world” that he gave His Son. Something of deep love and affection toward you and I caused Him to send Jesus.

John 3:17 follows, “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.”

Ask Yourself

Have I accumulated false beliefs about the Father and believed him to be someone he is not? If so, what are those ungodly beliefs and where did they stem from? Now, what does the Father say about me?

Good News of Sonship

Because of Jesus we have been grafted into the family of God. The spirit of adoption has brought us into favor with the Father. Just like Jesus walked in perfect sonship with the Father, we are called to do the same.

Galatians 4:4-7 says, “But when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out, “Abba, Father!” Therefore you are no longer a slave but a son, and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ.”

1 John 3:1 says, “Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!”

John 1:12 says,“As many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God”.

Rom 8:14-15 says, “For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.”

Call to Action

If we hope to reach a broken and increasingly fatherless generation we must know the heart of the Father. Take thirty minutes today, and get with the Father. Abide in Him, commune with Him. Let Him speak identity over you. Let Him show you the affections of His heart toward you. Hear him saying what he said to Jesus, “You are my beloved son. You are my beloved daughter.” Here lies the key to saving our families, to saving this generation, to saving California and beyond.